It’s official. The American Psychological Association (APA) has finally recognized “traditional” masculinity as a public health problem for boys and men. And, they just released a set of formalized guidelines for psychologists in addressing these issues. Although I’d prefer the APA use the term “toxic” instead of “traditional,” I think they’ve taken a step in the right direction.
At the Men’s Resource Center of West Michigan, we’ve focused on issues that affect men’s and boy’s personal growth and development since 2000. What I find most exciting about this announcement and these guidelines is that the work we’ve been doing on codifying toxic masculinity and specialized treatment is now essentially validated and supported by the APA. (You can read more about our work in “Mascupathy“, a book co-authored by Charlie Donaldson and myself.)
As stated in the Introduction to Guidelines for the Psychological Practice with Boys and Men:
Although boys and men, as a group, tend to hold privilege and power based on gender, they also demonstrate disproportionate rates of receiving harsh discipline (e.g., suspension and expulsion), academic challenges (e.g., dropping out of high school, particularly among African American and Latino boys), mental health issues (e.g., completed suicide), physical health problems (e.g., cardiovascular problems), public health concerns (e.g., violence, substance abuse, incarceration, and early mortality), and a wide variety of other quality-of-life issues (e.g., relational problems, family well-being; for comprehensive reviews, see Levant & Richmond, 2007; Moore & Stuart, 2005; O’Neil, 2015). Additionally, many men do not seek help when they need it, and many report distinctive barriers to receiving gender-sensitive psychological treatment (Mahalik, Good, Tager, Levant, & Mackowiak, 2012).
Counseling for Issues that Affect Men
Part of male socialization is that men and boys are taught to bury their feelings. This can make them less willing to seek help for psychological distress. Unfortunately, this means that many who need help, won’t seek it. If you (or someone you care about) fall into that category, we are here for you. We offer treatment in a non-threatening, supportive environment. And, we can tailor our wide range of counseling services to meet your needs. Don’t be afraid. Take the first step; contact the Men’s Resource Center for more information.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear this site is about emasculating men under the guise of male advocacy.
Nope, ain’t buying any of it.
Joe: Thank you for taking the time to read this and other posts on the site. I appreciate it. I’m not sure, however, where you got the idea that we promote emasculating men.
Read the bios of some of our staff – including mine – and you’ll notice we find the waters of masculinity to be just fine: we enjoy competing in softball, triathlons, century bike rides, cross-training competitions, hunting, fishing, etc. In fact, we feel quite secure in our masculinity and at the same time also appreciate other aspects of our humanity such as empathy and caretaking which enables us to be better friends, intimate partners, and fathers. We share this enthusiasm with our clients — trial lawyers, business owners, construction workers, salesmen — who we help to discover a more balanced and healthy life while not losing but improving their performances at work. We offer online counseling, phone counseling, and in-person counseling. Please feel free to contact us for more information. All the best.
Is “male aggression” considered toxic? What about rough housing? Because I hard disagree with the APA’s approach to masculinity. Men are more likely to express themselves outwardly specifically in angry and aggressive ways, that’s just part of having higher levels of testosterone than women. Men are much more irritable; this is even reported by transmen. So, whenever I hear psychologists talk about having men be more expressive of their emotions, I hold my breath considering they simultaneously demonize emotions they do not like men expressing rather than creating a safe space for these emotions. I say if women can have safe spaces where they can be emotionally removed from situations then men should have places where they can be as destructive and physical as they want.
Daniel: Male aggression inherently is not toxic or problematic as long as it is socially appropriate, calibrated, conscious, and mindful. Also, it cannot be gratuitous for the male and injurious to non-participating others. For example, male aggression on the football field is appropriate, calibrated and conscious. If it isn’t, then the player receives a penalty for aggression after the whistle. Another example, is male aggression to dig a ditch is appropriate, calibrated, and conscious, but male aggression to take digs verbally and physicallt at his intimate partner is not appropriate, and more likely dysregulated emotions and more impulsive.
Rough and tumble play is very developmentally appropriate, however, it isn’t at the expense of injuring playmates. In fact, research shows that rough and tumble play stops when male playmates notice an injured or hurting playmate. It is inherently designed to be rough and tumble, but not violent or injurious.
In my work with males, and in the research on male emotionality, it is common to note how anger and irritability is often a function of covering up more vulnerable emotions of fear, shame, loneliness, and hurt. Often males are uncomfortable expressing these more vulnerable emotions as it feels antithetical to their masculine identity. However, when they give themselves permission in the right context to express these human emotions, they find themselves less irritable, and less prone to angry outbursts. Having said that, anger is a normative emotion for males, including females in fact. Anger needs and should be expressed but it does not have to be injurious or violent. In controlled settings it can be aggessive and violent for therapetuic release and emotive expelling, but not at the expense of others. For example, hitting a pillow, or hitting a tree with a branch, or using a tennis racket on something inanimate. There are now breaking booths, where someone can pay to break dishes against a wall for anger expression.
Men in my therapy groups share how they appreciate the group for safe expression of emotions including the whole range of emotions such as anger, shame, sadness, hurt, insecurities, etc. They appreciate being able to take off the touch guise they display in social settings and having a chance to be real and authentic.
Daniel, I hope this is helpful, and you find safe places to be both male and human.