Let’s take a moment to be hopeful.

I came across this tweet the other night that, quite frankly, gave me a rush of hope that the conversation around fatherhood is changing. The knee-jerk reaction our society experiences, when it sees a man showing affection to his son, is slowly looking less and less like vitriol. And sons openly express a longing for overt displays of affection and nurturing from their fathers. It feels as though there is a growing awareness that the connection that is possible between a father and son can be an anecdote for a lot of the problems percolating in our society today.

I realize the subject of this tweet will bring a lot of different things into this conversation, so let me make something clear: This is not a discussion about the individual who crafted this tweet nor is it about the specific men in the photo. The photo could be showing any father-son combo throughout this world and still carry the same weight.

Defining Intimacy

What stood out to me about the original tweet was the assumption, held by a lot of men, that the only type of human connection they are allowed to have with others is one of a sexual nature. This assumption states that the only reason for the father to be kissing his son on the cheek is because he is doing so with the intent of communicating or instigating sexual intimacy.

This assumption is not innate to the human condition. We are not hardwired to interpret every intimate interaction with those around us as potential procreation. Unfortunately, many individuals are conditioned to believe this way. A lot of young men are taught that to be that close to someone, there must be at least the potential for sexual conquest. But, the response to this tweet illustrates that this, too, is changing. Here are a few examples:

There are different tones in the responses, including sentiments of pity, of grief, and of determination. Of course, as is the truth in the world of social media, there are also plenty of examples of “what about the other guy running for office,” or “go to hell,” or “what is wrong with you?” but today, I want to focus on the ones that really illustrate how the narrative around what it means to be a good father is shifting.

Modeling Positive Masculinity

There is still work to be done. There are plenty of ways we can promote change in how our young men are raised. And, a multitude of ways we can help challenge the views of individuals who strive to confine men to one singular definition of what it means to be masculine. But take a second to look at these responses and find a sliver of hope today.

Take comfort in the fact that we, as a society, can continue to normalize these types of interactions within fatherhood and other relationships. We can model this behavior, we can reinforce this behavior, and we can reward this behavior.

This is not the type of change that happens by way of a few poignant PSAs. Substantive change of this nature happens when generations of new men enter fatherhood with a concrete understanding of what is required of them; what it means to be a good father. Sure, there are plenty of instances where we need to be strong and push through adversity. And, we can model this type of behavior to our sons, but we can’t use that lens for every human interaction. We can’t allow any deviation from this type of behavior to be seen as inherent weakness. It is exactly the opposite of weakness. It is a sign of true strength.

I try to go to bed every night with the comfort that the narrative is changing. And, yet, I still wake up each morning with the motivation that there is much left to do. My hope is that this discussion provides comfort and motivation to you as well.