Stop Hurting the Woman You Love: Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior

Stop Hurting the Woman You Love: Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior


There are many books available about domestic violence and abuse. Stop Hurting the Woman You Love is different – it speaks directly to the abusive man. Co-authors, Charlie Donaldson and Randy Flood have over 40 years of combined expertise and thousands of hours of therapeutic work in the area of domestic relationships. They’ve helped many men learn to stop abusive behavior and stop hurting the people they love. This book combines their knowledge and expertise into a down-to-earth, easy-to-understand, “how-to” self-help manual that will help you understand and avoid domestic violence. Preview it here.


Domestic Violence is Many Things

Don’t let the term “domestic violence” fool you. Sometimes called “domestic abuse,” it doesn’t always mean physical violence. It could be name-calling; telling your partner she’s worthless or a bad mother. It could be controlling behavior; finding ways to keep your partner from doing what she wants to do by taking her car keys, or tracking her communications by checking her cell phone or Facebook. It could be economical; not allowing your partner to have access to finances or a job. It could be through intimidation; yelling or slamming doors. Or, it could be isolating; keeping your partner from family and friends. And, yes, it can mean physical violence as well; holding her down, pushing, or hitting. Stop Hurting the Woman You Love will help you learn to better manage your anger and put an end to abusive behavior. You can read a preview here.

“Your book has shown me that although abuse and violence can be coupled together, they are certainly dynamic by themselves. I was under the misfortune of thinking that once I eradicated the physical violence, the abuse would go with it … I was wrong.”
– Steven M.

Not Your Typical Anger Management Book

Stop Hurting the Woman You Love is much more than an anger management book. Chapters include:

  • 5 Lies That Ruin Lives – Learn how distorted thinking can create havoc in your life. Then learn how to stop this thinking and move toward more harmonious relationships.
  • The Time-Out: Avoiding Aggression and Violence Now – Learn how to use fast-acting self interventions to stop unnecessary aggression and violence before it starts.
  • How Did I Get This Way? The Trap – Learn how the way we socialize men in our culture has contributed to the problem of domestic abuse. Learn how to move past the unhealthy lessons you have been taught and move toward a healthier and more satisfying personal life.
  • The Dynamics of Domestic Abuse – Begin to understand on a much deeper level what exactly domestic abuse is, how it damages your relationships, and how it hurts the woman you love.
  • Sons and Daughters – Find the inspiration, supportive insight, and encouragement you need to stop the denial and stop the cycle of abuse.
  • The Continuing Journey – Find advice on how to ask for help and how to find a therapist that is right for you. Read stories of other men, just like you, who have stepped up to the task and set out onto the road of success.

You’ll also learn simple, effective tools, such as TIME OUT and the TEMPER Technique, that are fast-acting alternatives to abusive behavior.

“It takes real courage for a man to admit to himself that his life is not working out as he had planned… when a man decides he is ready to make positive changes, he can draw on the great insight and compassion in these pages.”
Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning educational video Tough Guise and author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Stop Hurting the Woman You Love will give you insight into what a “good” or “healthy” relationship looks like and how to get there. You can preview it here. The book

  • Helps you understand the dynamics of domestic abuse; helps you understand how you find yourself being abusive and controlling.
  • Offers compassion and understanding so you can face your difficulties head-on, without overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt.
  • Gives insight into vicious cycles, patterns, and pitfalls that keep you from moving forward.
  • Helps you understand your own personality and experiences so you can see more clearly why you do what you do, and why you feel how you feel.
  • Gives step-by-step guides on how to navigate through situations that usually leave you saying or doing something you later regret.

“There are tools on nearly every page of this important, practical, down-to-earth book. I highly recommend it to any men who want to stop hurting the woman they love and themselves. I also encourage therapists to draw on the authors’ insights and exercises.” John Lee, author of The Flying Boy and Facing the Fire.

Stopping Abusive Behavior – Not Just for Men

Stop Hurting the Woman You Love isn’t just for the man who thinks he might be abusive. It can help the woman who’s been hurt identify if her partner is truly abusive and give her options for seeking help. It offers friends and family insight into abusive behavior and a better understanding so they can be supportive in ways that are productive. And it can assist health professionals and clergy in identifying the people in their care who need far more than couples’ counseling.

What Kind of Abusive Man Am I?

Anger and domestic violence are not “one-size-fits-all.” Take the “What Kind of Abusive Man Am I” assessment to better understand yourself and your actions. Learn how your past experiences have brought you to where you are today. Then, utilize this understanding to work toward change and contentment with yourself and your relationships. Don’t waste another minute suffering through the anger, outbursts, pain, and regret. Buy Stop Hurting the Woman You Love now, and begin to move down a new path toward a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

“The book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love has changed my life.

A few months ago, after one blowout too many, I decided it was time for me to seek help for my problem with abuse. After numerous searches for support for abusive men in my area led only to dead ends, I stumbled across your book.

A few clicks later, I was in possession of a copy of your book and with that began my journey of healing and self discovery. Without a doubt, my life has been filled with more love, emotional intimacy and connection since I read the book the first time — and for that I am eternally grateful.”
– Anonymous, South Africa

Buy your copy now or contact the Men’s Resource Center of West Michigan for more information. For in-person counseling and therapy, contact the Men’s Resource Center about our Domestic Relationships support group and other counseling options.

$15.95Add to cart


Charlie Donaldson LLP LPC, Randy Flood MA LLP, Elaine Eldridge PhD


Softcover Book

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